The Old Guy at the Gym

Let me begin this by saying that I usually get along famously with my elders. In my experience, old people are nice people. I’ve recently met one who is quite the opposite.

My good friend Chris Ahrens and I started working out mornings at Bally’s a few weeks ago. I’m not sure what I did or how it happened, but I seem to have gotten myself an unusual bully of sorts at the gym. This guy is a spry eighty-something year old man. He’s there every friggin’ day.

It started on the first day. He approached me to give me a hard time about losing my hair. He nudges me while on the exercise bike to tell me i’m not pedaling fast enough. He busts my chops as i’m finishing a workout. He’s just like the Lloyd Bridges character on Seinfeld. At first I thought it was cute and funny, but this guy is starting to get on my nerves. He’s so damn smug. Seriously, one of these days i’m going to knock him out…and then what? I’m the bad guy?

Posted by chuck at September 29, 2005 10:09 PM

Comments

You know what to do.

Posted by: Bryan Buchs at September 30, 2005 8:38 AM

“Hello, dough boy. … I’m here to whip you in to shape, so grab your jocks - if you need one. It’s go-time. … All aboard in the pain train!”

You should challenge him to a weightlifting competition!

Posted by: The Other Dan at September 30, 2005 10:11 AM

Challenge him to a race. Then inform him it’s a race to see who will die the quickest. Assure him that he will beat you in this race hands down, but that you can live with with second place. Then, when leaving the gym announce in a pronounced manner, ” I need to get home to make love to my lady, who by the way is in her late twenties, not late seventies”

That will shut him up.

Posted by: Andy G at September 30, 2005 11:13 AM